I am mostly soft and that’s why I am strong. I am dedicated to storytelling. I am dedicated to feeling. I am dedicated to love.

MUSE EP Spring 2019

Muse is about the process of falling in love. The words that make your eyes happy wet. The laughter that only happens in the split second when you are truly blown away that you are FINALLY feeling a real connection after searching for what feels like eternity. The lie you tell about said laughter because you’re afraid it’s too soon. The rise in your chest when the voice on the other line feels like a hug.

The no-im-not-tired-we-can-talk-another-three-hours-even-though-we-did-yesterday kind.

The i-had-plans-but-im-going-to-say-i-didnt-because-id-always-rather-stare-at-your-dumb-face  kind.

Muse is also simultaneously about the breaking of a heart. It’s about those mini fractures -- the part way breaks that you fix and fix, but the jagged edges still find a way to sneak up and prick you when you least expect it. The conversations that you have with yourself when you realize you never actually took the time or care to repair any of the breaks fully. It’s about the hurt that shifts from painful to annoying because your skin grows thicker quicker than expected and your tolerance races to keep up.

Finally, Muse is about growth. The strength gained from loving and the strength gained from losing. In my case, I lost something that I never even had as mine… I don’t know how to categorize that really… but it sure does feel like loss, and I sure do feel stronger for letting myself feel it.

I’m thankful to myself for loving hard. I’m thankful to myself for staying in denial too long. I’m thankful to myself for learning from it. I’m thankful for the music that came. I’m thankful that you care enough to read this. Because art.

xo, Beck