Muse is about the process of falling in love. The laughter that only happens in the split second when you are truly blown away that you are FINALLY feeling a real connection after searching for what feels like eternity. The lie you tell about said laughter because you’re afraid it’s too soon. The rise in your chest when the voice on the other line feels like a hug.
The no-im-not-tired-we-can-talk-another-three-hours-about-things-that-can-wait-until-tomorrow-or-possibly-never kind.
The i-had-plans-but-im-going-to-say-i-didnt-because-id-always-rather-stare-at-your-dumb-face kind.
Muse is also simultaneously about heart breaks. It’s about those mini fractures -- the part way breaks that you fix and fix, and the jagged edges still find a way to sneak up and prick you when you least expect it. It’s about the conversations that you have with yourself when you realize you never actually took the time or care to repair any of the breaks fully… about the hurt that shifts from painful to annoying because your skin grows thicker quicker than expected and your tolerance races to keep up.
Finally, Muse is about growth. The strength gained from loving and the strength gained from losing. In my case, I lost something that I never even had as mine… I don’t know how to categorize that really… but I’ve felt loss, this felt worse, and I sure do feel stronger for letting myself walk through it.
I’m thankful to myself for loving hard. I’m thankful to myself for learning from it all. I’m thankful for the music that came. I’m thankful that you care enough to read this. Because art.
Coming Oct. 25, 2019.